the accidental organic pantry

when i flicked on the light a few weeks ago in the laundry room, a startled moth flew from its hiding spot and raced against me to find another. lucky for the moth, i’m short, so it flew to safety without a hitch. moth: 1, murph: 0.

now, to know me is to know i am not a fan of bugs. not that you are, either, but the stereotypical girl in me makes quite the dramatic appearance the moment i see most bugs (the uncontrollable desire to hit myself crashes over me in waves — laugh it up, but it’s true): spiders, roaches, water bugs, creepy multi-legged things, flying assholes and many more, i’m sure.

a day or two later, said moth showed its face again, and i claimed victory. good night, moth.

unfortunately, there were more. one by one, they showed their ugly faces. one by one, i took them down. which then begged the question: where are they coming from, and why?

a quick google search told me it could be a problem in the pantry — something about badly stored dry goods or whatever. so, i set out to change things. a never superfluous trip to target left me with bug killer (eco-friendly and pet safe, obvy), two, plastic pet food storage containers and an assortment of other plastic storage items. perfect. up next: clean out the pantry. and i couldn’t be more excited. (no, really — i look forward to those sort of things. go ahead, laugh it up again.)

i start at the bottom, where leo’s and doogan’s food rests, along with a heap of other things: my extra rolls of toilet paper and paper towels, and copious amounts of plastic price chopper bags, j. crew, gap, the HRC store, henri bendel and life is good, etc bags. (apparently, i’ve been doing a little shopping.)

then i saw something i had completely forgotten about: an old bag of good ol’ idaho (“i da ho? you da ho!”) potatoes. things have piled atop this bag for — literally — months. hmmm. this ought to be interesting. with leo supervising, i reached into the pantry, grabbed the taters bag and attempted to remove it. but, what is this? WHAT THE??? i shrieked, dropped the bag and (when i realized what i was running from) immediately began hysterically laughing.

the taters grew roots. ROOTS, PEOPLE. roots so strong they punched through a tiny hole in the bag. and how did leo respond? with glee. he was convinced i’d procured this floppy, grainy, earth-scented chew toy just for him. i still giggle at the thought.

moral of the story? make mashed potatoes way more often.

p.s. guess what i found in my bathroom not 10 minutes later? a frackin’ spider. i sprayed that bastard to death. success, sucka.

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